The holidays can be an especially stressful time of year, filled with expectations about family togetherness and many choices about how to spend your time and money.  These ten relaxation tips -- drawn from the books and recordings of Joel Levey and Michelle Levey -- provide specific ways you can manage your own responses to the holidays, and thus increase your enjoyment of this special time of year.

For each of the tips, you'll find additional information and guidance by clicking on the "Read more..." links below.

1. Create realistic expectations -- don't try to make this the perfect holiday.
For many people, creating realistic expectations is the most challenging, and the most important principle to apply to the holiday season. It can be so easy to get caught up in cozy, romantic images of a fantasy holiday where everyone is happy together, everything runs smoothly, and the sounds of laughter echo to a backdrop of snowflakes and sleigh bells. As an alternative, think through your plans realistically and set simple measures of success, such as “May everyone feel some happiness.”  Read more...

2. Learn to say "no" to extra obligations that might stress you out.
The holidays are ripe with obligations. As the calendar fills to the brim, you may start feeling overbooked and overwhelmed. One way to prevent this is to practice the technique of mindfulness. By learning to mindfully reflect on how you plan to spend your time, you can better prioritize your obligations and make conscious choices about your time commitments.  Read more...

3. Take short relaxation breaks to let go of tension.
It is difficult to sustain high levels of activity and stimulation, especially at holiday time, without taking some “down time” to restore yourself. This is easy to do when you remember to use your breath as your guide. Whenever you notice you are getting stressed or anxious, simply (1) stop and pause for a moment, (2) take in a deep breath, and (3) slowly exhale, releasing any tension you may be carrying. Use spare moments throughout the day to breathe away tension or to recall pleasant images and memories that will help soothe you. You can also practice relaxation guided imagery to calm your mind and body. By reducing your overall anxiety level in these ways, you will be better able to cope with the pressures of the holidays.  Read more...

4. Get involved in a volunteer activity where you help others.
Few activities result in greater satisfaction than the act of giving selflessly from the heart. When you help others, you are naturally likely to capture a sense of belonging and inner joy for yourself. What better way to balance the craziness of the materialistic holiday stampede than to volunteer and help those in need?  Read more...

5. Tap into your natural creativity and create a hand-made gift.
In addition to fostering a deeper connection between you and the recipient, making a gift by hand can also be a calm, meditative experience, centering you and bringing you more fully into the present moment. It can also provide an important outlet for you to express your creativity.  Read more...

6. Eat and drink sensibly, and get plenty of exercise and sleep.
For most people, the holidays go hand in hand with too much fat, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol, and not nearly enough sleep and exercise. One of the easiest and most straightforward ways to combat holiday stress is to pay better attention to your body’s need for healthy food, exercise, and sleep during this intense time of year.   Read more...

7. Practice being a peacemaker if family squabbles erupt.
With the stress of holiday expectations, it’s easy for people to get their feelings hurt. If this starts happening in your family interactions, shift your view to the bigger picture and help family members make peace with one other. Two simple keys here are to listen more attentively and to let others know that they have been heard.  Read more...

8. Balance your spending of time and money to improve your quality of life.
The holidays offer many temptations to spend both your time and your money. If you slow down a little and pay attention to what you really want, you may find yourself making choices that offer deeper satisfaction instead of instant gratification. When you find yourself faced with a spending choice, take a deep breath, relax, and ask yourself, “What choice will truly improve the quality of my life and that of others?”   Read more...

9. Create a new holiday tradition that builds connections among your family and friends.
Annual holiday traditions can be a source of great comfort, satisfaction, and connection between friends and family. But creating a new holiday tradition can be just as satisfying. Take a fresh look at your various holiday activities. If you discover that one or more of your current holiday traditions is in need of an overhaul, or that you yearn to supplement them, consider creating a new holiday tradition. Keep in mind that the best traditions may be the simplest ones that involve spending quality time together.  Read more...

10. Reflect on the deeper meaning and spirit of the holidays for you personally, for your family, and for humanity and the world.
So much of the holidays center on outward, physical, sensory experience -- the brightness of the Christmas lights, the frosty air on our cheeks, the smell of roasting foods, the sound of caroling voices. Partly because of this, the deeper, more spiritual meaning of the holiday season can become lost in the shuffle. By pausing to reflect on this meaning, you can gain a better perspective on how to organize your holiday priorities.  Read more...

Additional links for managing holiday stress.